Everybody Can't Go Convos
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Everybody Can't Go Convos
The Goal is Still the Goal
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What happens when the timeline you created for your life no longer matches reality?
In this episode of Everybody Can’t Go Convos, Jessi Holley explores what it means to stay committed to the vision when the timeline gets disrupted, the plan changes, and the journey takes longer than expected.
Inspired by watching FIFA matches and realizing that sometimes it takes the entire game to score one goal, Jessi unpacks a powerful reminder: the goal is still the goal.
Your route may change. Your timeline may change. The strategy may change. But changing the path doesn't necessarily mean you've abandoned the destination.
Jessi gets real about the frustration that comes with rerouting—especially when you've planned carefully, built in extra time, and still find yourself feeling "behind." She explores how premature timelines, comparison, social media, and the pressure of where we think we should be can cause us to lose sight of where we're actually going.
This episode is a reminder to stop confusing delay with denial, and to recognize that taking longer doesn't mean you've failed.
Key Topics:
- The importance of flexibility in achieving goals
- Understanding that success is not linear
- The role of delays and setbacks as part of growth
- Strategies for recalibrating and realigning your plans
- The significance of milestones and adjusting timelines
- The impact of social media on perception and motivation
- Biblical stories of perseverance and delays
- Practical tips for resetting and restarting goals
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And we laugh. Happy Wednesday and welcome to another Everybody Can't Go Convo. I'm your host, Jesse Holly, and I'm not gonna let it go from last week. I'm not gonna let it go. The goal is still the goal. The goal is still the go. So I appreciate all of you guys' comments, likes, the conversations that were had. Y'all come out of my DMs and come come out into the light, Caroline. But like, no, for real. All of you that have shared how like you've looked at taking a different route to getting to the same destination. That's why I'm like, no, I'm still stuck on it. And sometimes you just gotta say something a different kind of way. Because I'm like, you know what? One of the things that I should have put in my notes for my points to talk to y'all about was the goal is still the goal. Like, however, you want to slice it, however, you want to cut it, the goal is still the goal at the end of the day. So, what was that about like a month or so ago? Um, and I mean, throughout the beginning of the summer, you know, here it was FIFA everything, everywhere. Like while I was traveling, all you would see sports bars, um, regular bars, uh, lounges, restaurants. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing FIFA something. And honestly, like, I mean, I'd heard of it before, but I think with the games being hosted in the US, I think there was a different level of coverage and exposure. There was a lot more, at least that came across my feeds on socials where I actually, you know, watch some of the matches, got to talk to people who actually watch soccer, talk about like the rules, the different um different games and stuff. And I'm like, well, dang, yeah, it kind of takes a long time. This is a low-scoring thing. But after taking the time to actually sit there and watch games, I was like, no, wait a minute. It'd be taking them a long time to get that goal. But when they get it, I'm like, yo, this is electrifying. Now I've decided I have to make it to a FIFA game. When the next one comes around, I'm like, I don't care which game it is. I just want to be inside of the stadium and just to um be around the energy, the the different countries and stuff, like the way that they celebrate it. The only way that I could describe it, I'm like, it just looks like being in a stadium for that. It looks electrifying. And to be able to just enjoy the joy of so many other people when, you know, I could cheer and wave a little flag or, you know, have my popcorn or whatever, but I could I could tell it would be something different for me than the way that I feel in a basketball game, right? And so while I'm watching all the players, and I've thought about this every game, that just the way that it looks to me, because I'm not like a soccer head, I'm not into it or anything like that by any means. Well, I guess you could say I'm interested now. But I'm like, yo, it takes so long for them to score. And like sometimes I had a bunch of questions. If I was just so happened to be sitting by somebody that that they like, oh yeah, no, I I do soccer. Like, this is my thing. And like there were times where some of the plays, because I'm used to watching football and basketball, I'm like, I'm not understanding how the plays are. This field is way bigger, the way the game is played is way different. And at the end of the day, I'm like, you only need one. If the score end up being zero to one or one to two, one to three, I'm like, it don't matter how long it takes them to hit it, the goal is still to go. And so I'm like, all right, that all of those games and and matches that I watched, each time that it looked like they were getting close to like the little box that's right before the goal net that you got to kick it into, it's like a little box and then it's a line and it's the net, right? And there were so many times where they was like close, or it would be like one of the guys would be standing like right at the line of the little box thingy that and I'm like, ooh, ooh, ooh, they're so close, they're so close. And it's like, no, reject it. Or somebody from the opposing team would come in and be like, ah, no, cut that junk off. And there were so many times where I looked at it and I'm like, so close, so close.
SPEAKER_01It's not close. Let me just be quiet and watch this.
SPEAKER_00But it made me think, and we hear this at church all the time, or hear people say it all the time, that delayed is not denied. And that made me think about back to what we talked about last week. Our timelines on our goals, sometimes the timeline changes, but the assignment itself doesn't change. That destination that we talked about last time, uh last week, it doesn't change. And at the end of the day, the goal is still the goal. Whether it takes us 10 plays to get the goal, whether we, you know, get get a Hail Mary. I don't even know if they call it that in soccer, but you get that that one, like one in a million goal. Like a goal is still the goal. As long as you get it done, it don't matter if it took the whole game to get that one for the win. It just took the whole game to get that one for the win. All you need is the one go. So that kind of made me think of um another way to frame what we talked about last week and to put some more focus on the time that it takes while we're rerouting. When we reroute, it does take extra time, most of the time. And we we talked about that just a little bit, but I was like, I don't think I spent enough time on the rerouting and how much extra time it will take you. It can be frustrating. It frankly, like, and you know what I said when I made the podcast for y'all, but I be talking about me. It frankly, it pisses me off because I'm like, look, even when I planned in, I baked in some lead time so that I would have the extra time just in case something was thrown off. And the plan still, we still quote unquote late. Sometimes we get so married to one of the coaching methods that I did like, I did like it, was um, and shout out to Big Ray, put a date on it. And I started applying that to everything. One of the places where I ran into putting a date on it, I didn't have enough data to put a date on it, which that was okay. While I was going through the publishing process for my book, which I wanted it published in a certain way. I wanted it to get to you guys, look a certain way, feel a certain way. I wanted a certain level of quality. And there were a lot of things that even though I thought that I had a perfect plan, there were things that now it was out of my control what happens with my manuscript when it leaves me. So putting a date on it became, putting a date on it from the beginning became out of place because I put a date on it without the proper data and without enough data. And so I think that sometimes when we create a timeline, sometimes we create a timeline prematurely. We don't have all of the facts, all the data that we need to create this timeline. But then we make this plan and we make this timeline, and then we get married to it. We get married to it, and it shouldn't have never even been a proposal in place yet, because we didn't have enough information for a proper proposal to be made. Yeah, we go right on through and we plow through and we say, This is the plan, this is it or else, this is it and nothing else. It can only go this way. And then even if we listen to last week's episode and we say, okay, I'm gonna embrace the rerouting, I'm gonna be open-minded, I'm going to be prepared so that I can take a different route so that I can get to the same destination. But then we look at how much extra time it's going to take that we didn't anticipate, we do not want, and sometimes we don't even want to honor it. And we think that that delay means, you know what? Even though I know all the things, never mind. Or we get a bad attitude and be like, you know what, I'm sick of this. F it. Just let it sit there then. Because I'm I'm over it, I'm tired of this. So I mark down a couple of things here that I'm like, okay, why is it that when our timeline gets disrupted, the timeline that we decided, the plan that we made, why do we get so discouraged, or why do we get to the point where we really do just be like, you know what, Effie? I'm not even bothering with this no more. And so a few of the things that I came up with that I noticed are like common for us to, to a certain degree, completely just abandon the plan, or, and I'm not gonna say completely abandon it. We just taking a real hard pause because we forgot that the goal is still the goal. When we compare ourselves to others, shout out to um Lisa A. Smith. She said at a conference, what was that, the 1% conference back in April? She talked about taking out of our vocabulary, saying that, well, I should have been at this point in my life by now. I should have done insert whatever by now. And that really gave me a moment of pause because I'm like, yo, she's right. We do do that and say that all the time. Well, by now in my life, I should have. I thought that by this age, I would have, because we had this perfect timeline planned out. And then we started looking around at other people and how the timeline that we made up for ourselves, that somebody else is accomplishing things according to our timeline. When we do that, we never put into perspective or think about was our timeline theirs? Probably not. The things that you're thinking, oh, well, they accomplished, they they got married by the age that I wanted to be married, and I'm not. They had children by by the the age that that I wanted to have children, and they got their degree. They they're a doctor by the age that I thought that I would be a doctor.
SPEAKER_01What if none of that was even in their plan?
SPEAKER_00But here we are, here you are, here I am, comparing ourselves to others. Social media makes it real easy, which is fairly ironic because you could be watching me on YouTube right now. But with all of the access that we have, that social media pressure is constantly in our face. Now, social media, it could be a gift and a curse. It depends on your mindset when you click on that icon and get to scrolling, or you press the play button and you get to listening. Sometimes we do it out of habit, even with podcasts. Is your mind in the space where you're able to receive the information so that you can apply it to your situation and get results? The information itself doesn't change the situation, the information applied changes situations. And sometimes we just aren't in the right frame of mind. Sometimes our focus is blurred. Sometimes we just can't consume any more information. But just out of habit, we press play. Out of habit, we pick up the phone and scroll. We have a negative thought and say, bump this. And we plop down on the couch, pick up our phone, and we start to look at stuff. We start to see things that aren't all cat videos or things that we find humorous. We see images, videos, things to compare ourselves to, to compare ourselves to other people that we assume are our age, that we assume that what you see on camera is that person's real life. That's what it was meant to do. We're seeing the highlight reels. We aren't seeing the behind the scenes. And sometimes when we're having a moment of discouragement, it's really easy to forget what's actually going on on the other side of someone else's camera when they're showing you a shiny thing. Other reasons why you start to feel discouraged when your timeline didn't go according to your original plan. Sometimes you can feel left behind, or you can feel like you're behind on that timeline that you created for yourself. You begin to hyperfocus on that, which is exactly why Lisa said what she said. Like, let that go. Because if we're truly embracing that the destination is the same, part of what we have to embrace, ooh, we it's gonna burn my throat to even say it. Because y'all know I got about two scoops of patience, and a scoop and a half of it is already gone. But we have to embrace that there will be delays. The delays do not equal denials, and the goal is still to go, even though it's tap dancing on your very last nerve that it's taking so long to reach the goal. Can you tell? I'm currently talking about me. But I know it couldn't possibly be you. But it's okay. Nonetheless, I made the podcast for you. I'm just talking about me. Because I know ain't none of the rest of y'all up to y'all's wits in with waiting on the timeline that you created for yourself and the plan being executed exactly as you created it, without all of the data points and the facts that we needed so that we can make an accurate plan that wouldn't need any adjustments, wouldn't need any reroutes, wouldn't need to be recalibrated or realigned.
SPEAKER_01Because we perfect, right? Oh no, it's just y'all. Not me.
SPEAKER_00We get disappointed when we miss our milestones. Now that's a big one because I literally told y'all when you are setting your goals, make some milestones. Go ahead and put a time bound, a time bind, make your goal time bound. Okay, we make our goals smart and all of those things. And when we miss the milestone, sometimes we get discouraged because a milestone was missed. And instead of continuing to move forward and reroute, we'll just say, you know what? Never mind. Or I'm gonna just let it sit there because I'ma sit here and I'm gonna pout. And sometimes, you know, I'm gonna take it all the way to the darkest of the dark. Unexpected life events happen.
SPEAKER_01Sometimes things happen to you. Sometimes some of the things that happen to you are not something that you can turn into it happening for you. That can really set back your timeline.
SPEAKER_00But even with it taking longer than you anticipated, when you picked back up on it and you began to reroute, that reroute went from a 10-minute delay to a 25-minute delay. If you show up an hour late, did you still show up to that destination? Just because you are behind according to what you decided, does that not make the goal still the goal? When we're referring back to our vision and we're making our tweaks, are we completely throwing the goal out the window or are we adding a little something to it, subtracting a little something from it? But the goal overall is still the goal. We gotta get comfortable with being uncomfortable with that extra time and the delay that is caused by taking a different route. Because at the end of the day, we gotta get there. We gotta get because the goal is still to go.
SPEAKER_01We still gotta get to the destination.
SPEAKER_00So we gotta reroute, and the part that I'm turning my nose up at we gotta wait some extra time. I don't like it. And I ain't gotta like it, but it is what must be done, and that's why I'm like, do I repeat it to myself? Like at this point, I'm like, I need to put it on a poster for myself. I made me one of my little index cards and I put it up with my affirmations on the wall. The goal is still to go. So that every time that I get pissed off about how long the delay is taking, because I decided that my perfect plan was going to be executed by this time, this date, and nothing's gonna go wrong until it was time to reroute. Until I had to find the purpose in my pause, until I had to embrace the pivot. And even with doing all those things and encouraging y'all to do the same, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I don't like waiting a long time. I don't, I don't, I don't. Y'all know on my flight assessment, the the whole side that the pace is fast, there's me. This is why I rock with GCs and and ATC and say submit to ATC every chance I get, because they will even out the pace. If you leave it to me, no.
SPEAKER_01I'm fast as ever voy. But that's not how life works.
SPEAKER_00That's where I have to lean into the other, the other half of that, that circle. I gotta lean into the like, okay, y'all, slow me down. So I can remember that the goal is the goal, and we can make sure that we still heading in the right direction and not just have me running crazy chasing rabbits and doing everything in between because I got unfocused off of the final destination. Well, not final destination, Jesus, but got my focus off of the destination that we're going to next. And another thing to remember, success isn't linear. And so when we were talking about last week, how career paths, depending upon which generation you're a part of, that a career path is not, it's not rigid. Like just do these things, get the promotions, and you're gonna go in a path straight to the top. Success isn't linear anymore. It's definitely at one point or another, you always gonna find yourself chasing some rabbits, whether you're chasing them fast or you're chasing them slow. It's very easy to get off-centered, off-task. Life in the world is just moving too fast. And so while you're remembering that success isn't linear and it's accepting and embracing that when you are looking at your vision and you are remembering your purpose, you're gonna go in iteration after iteration after iteration. Because if you don't and you just let it sit there, you aren't taking the time to factor in the detours that you have to take, uh, the different seasons in life, the the times that you have to stop for whatever reason, big or small, the times that you got to put things on pause, knowing how long that you're putting something on pause, what is the purpose of putting something on pause while you you are in one of those one of those seasons or one of those lulls where it's like, I gotta put a pin in this right now. What's the purpose in you putting a pin in it? Like, what do you have to accomplish while while you're stopping? What is the purpose for you stopping? And then we have those restarts. We have those resets. And while, yeah, you know, July is is kind of like universally like reset season because it's halfway through the year. You don't have to wait until July to have a reset, just like you don't have to wait until January to write your vision so that you can start over. Resets and restarts are not just for January and July. You can do that at any time throughout the year. Even if you need to put a pen in the series, follow the playlist, save it, do what you need to do. And you like, okay, I need a reset in November. I need a reset in March. You can reset or restart at any time. You don't have to wait for the season because everybody's doing it during that season. You don't have to wait for that. Success also isn't linear. We now we know it's not if it's when, because as we are going on our growth journeys, as we are building, you know, building our lives, executing on our goals, building our vision, working on businesses and startups and different things of that sort.
SPEAKER_01Oftentimes we don't factor in the failures. Because who wants to talk about that? Who wants to accept that? But remember, it's not if it's when. Because even if you win, win, win, no matter what, that's fine. Everybody put your hands up. But there is gonna come a point where your hands are gonna go down.
SPEAKER_00Now, I'm not saying that you just gotta be taking L's left and right and you blah blah blah blah. But you there have to be some points where there are some failures. You have to have some L's so that you can get those lessons. You have to have some losses so that you can have some bounce backs. That's a part of success. It's not linear.
SPEAKER_01That's all a part of the story. It's gonna be in there.
SPEAKER_00What you choose to count as failure? Sometimes that can use a little we can look at it a little different. And no, I ain't talking about y'all. I'm talking about me. Because why I gotta wait so long? Fail.
SPEAKER_01Is it hashtag pound epic fail? Yes, I say hashtag pound.
SPEAKER_00Is it a epic fail? Really? Is it? Or are you just highly dissatisfied at the moment and you are going to restart? You just need to get it out. You need to go on your rant. You need to vent a little bit so that you can get back to work. But in the midst of that, success isn't linear. And this is why that vision and revisiting it and doing the recalibrations and everything is so important because we also have unexpected blessings that come across us. When we created this perfect timeline and we made this plan in our head that things have to go exactly like this as I planned, it's an unexpected blessing. You didn't even know what was coming. So, how did you ever plan space and time for it? You didn't. And if the timeline that you planned for yourself was so perfect, and you had all the facts, so you didn't need to grow, you didn't need to know, you didn't need to go on a journey. And you wouldn't need any blessings or unexpected ones at that. Unfortunately or fortunately, that's just how it works, whether we like it or not. And really, the person that you don't like, you can just go ahead and do what I do. Just say, I don't like it, but I ain't gotta like it. The goal is still the goal. We ain't gotta like it. We just gotta get there. And if getting there takes you kicking and screaming and doing whatever else, you go right ahead. Now, even though this is not a uh religious podcast, there, y'all know we love Jesus around here. But when I was thinking about getting to these different places, kicking and screaming, it reminded me of um some of the Bible stories of people where there was a delay, but it didn't mean an ultimate denial. And they continue to work. Joseph, Moses, David, Abraham, all of them kind of went through the same things. If you don't know who they Google the different Bible stories because it's it's some of them is like a couple of books long and whatnot. But like these are some of the most famous names in the Bible, if that's what you ascribe to. And even when they they were told, like, this is what you need to do, it still wasn't perfectly executed. It still wasn't completely executed according to plan. And when there was, when there was reroutes, they had to be taken during the plan, on the path. Sometimes there was delays. Some folks complained about the delays. I'm like, shoot, I don't blame you, sir, because I would have been complaining too. But none of none of those, none of them reached their purpose on quote unquote on schedule. They got there because the goal was still the goal. But all of those things that I talked about when I said success is at linear, the detours, the seasons, the restarts, the failures, the unexpected blessings, all of those things, all of those facts that we don't, we haven't learned it yet to even incorporate it into the timeline, which is why we have to be ready for doing several different iterations so that we can recalibrate, realign as we learn new information, so that we can kind of adjust the accuracy of our timeline. And even with the adjustments and accuracy that we're making to the timeline that we that we're setting out is our plan, there's still gonna be all that other stuff that pop up that get in the way. Somebody's gonna find a way to mess it up, somebody gonna find a way to be in your way, or life be life, and the ghetto part of adulting just comes up at the most inopportune time. So just make sure that you don't abandon your assignment, don't abandon your goal, don't leave behind your purpose, don't get so fed up that you just like F it and just leave the vision sitting there. And refusing to dust it off, refusing to realign, recalibrate, refusing to take the time to do a reset when you need to, and refusing to look at the purpose for why you have to stop and take a pause when it's time to do so. Don't do all of those things just because the timeline isn't going according to your plan. Just because the calendar changed, just because you put a date on it and you didn't hit that date, just because other folks found a way to come in and f up something you was building with one hand, they was tearing down with the other, and by the time you saw it, it set you behind and you like, hey, get out of here. Everybody can't go. You got to go.
SPEAKER_01Up and away from me. Get up out of here.
SPEAKER_00Don't abandon your assignment and make sure that you don't forget that even in the midst of all of that foolishness, the goal is still the goal. Sometimes it's just a little extra time, and sometimes it's just a lot of extra time that is added to the schedule and put on the timeline of the plan that we had to get there. And the more that we stay open to being able to reroute, revisit the vision, rewrite the vision so that we're able to um recalibrate and update the next iteration of working toward that thing so that we can make sure that we're getting to the goal. Being open to all of those things, I didn't say it's gonna make you like it, you're just aware, and you can complain all you want to while you're still getting in that action. So if God hasn't changed the assignment, why should you? The goal is still to go, the destination is still the same. The route might be different, the time that it takes to get there might be different, but that does not change how beautiful it's gonna be in the end. So I will leave you guys with that for today. And of course, I will see you guys next week on Wednesday at 10 p.m. EST. Uh, make sure that you head over to reset.everybodycg.com. You can um catch the replays of our live calls. And there's still a few more live calls left during the month that you can still join us. You can catch up, and um, you can access those replays and and rewatches and everything. And make sure that you get your copy of Everybody Can't Go, the book that became the brand and now a movement, and also the birth this podcast. You can find that at www.everybody can't go the number two.com. You can also search it up on Barnes and Noble and um Amazon. So you can order it there as well. And make sure that you hit the link below if you want exclusive interviews, bonus episodes, freebies, promo codes, and whatever else crazy I feel like adding at any time. Go ahead and join the paid subscription of Everybody Can't Go Convos. You get some of that after dark footage, and you also get access to things like the Realign Framework, which is the signature framework that I created as a result of what we've been talking about for the past three weeks here. So you can continue to be on your reset path, and you can reset and realign with the combination of tools that have been made available to you at reset.everybodyc.com and by going to our podcast subscribership, where you can access the realign framework and some bonus episodes for this month and other freebies and promo codes and different things there. And don't forget, when you are a part of the paid subscription, you also have the opportunity to win freebies giveaways every month. Just because it's only supposed to be one per month, but sometimes y'all know how I get. And I'm just like, I'm gonna do another one because who's gonna stop me? So, with that, I thank you guys for joining me on this evening, and I will see you guys next week for another Everybody Can't Go combo.
